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Dragon Ball ep 99 - Tenshinhan's Distress!!


Goku was suddenly stopped cold from defending himself by a mysterious force, and takes a direct hit from Tenshinhan as a result. He blames Tenshinhan for fighting dirty, but Ten doesn't know what he's talking about. Unknown to either fighter is that Tsuru Sen'nin's behind it, forcing Chaotzu to use his Psychic Power to stop Goku in his tracks.


The fight continues, eventually taking to the air; and sure enough, Tsuru Sen'nin gives the order for Chaotzu to stun Goku once more.


It nearly costs Goku the match, if not for a quickly timed Kamehameha - which prevents our hero from hitting out of bounds! But as the fight resumes in the ring, it isn't long before Chaotzu is locking Goku into place... again and again...! Tenshinhan gives Goku the beating of his life, and still Goku accuses him of fighting dirty. Ten now suspects he's trying to throw water on the match - thinking Goku is some sort of poor sport. But from the sidelines, Kame Sen'nin and Yamcha have both, separately, come to the conclusion that Tsuru Sen'nin and Chaotzu are behind it.

Tenshinhan hits Goku with twenty punches per breath, using his Rekka Kousoku-ken! (Light-speed fury punch) And Goku, stunned by Chaotzu, is unable to defend himself!

Yamcha explains to the others what is going on, and Lunch (being, well, Lunch) decides to handle the situation her own way.

 With a fucking giant mallet.
(Lunch is the most crush-worthy character, I swear.)
 Unfortunately, Tsuru Sen'nin is a master martial artist...
...and in a single flick, tosses Lunch across the stadium.
(It's the thought that counts, Lunchypoo.)


Tenshinhan is still beating away at Son Goku - hitting his vital spots repeatedly, with Goku putting up no defense. Finally, as Goku is thrown to the ring floor, and Mr. Annoucerman begins to count, Ten realizes something is amiss; Goku is still talking, but can't get back up. Across the way, Tsuru Sen'nin gives Tenshinhan the order to kill Goku... but Ten doesn't want to kill him, he wants to win the match. He wants to become the Strongest Under the Heavens.


Tenshinhan tells Chaotzu to stop, that he doesn't want to win this way. Chaotzu seems elated, but Tsuru Sen'nin is furious. He reminds Ten that "the brat" killed Tao Pai Pai! "Tenshinhan!!" Tsuru Sen'nin shouts. "STOP!!!" Tenshinhan bellows back, and Chaotzu immediately releases Goku! Goku bounces back up quickly, and begins to charge Ten - but Kame Sen'nin tells him to wait!

"Tenshinhan! How dare you defy me, your own master!" Tsuru Sen'nin spits.
"I simply wish to fight at full strength in this match." Tenshinhan says, tentatively. "I don't require any help! I will win using my own skills!"
"I ordered you to kill him!" 
"I cannot! If I kill him, I will lose the title of tournament champion."

(Chaotzu's never been so proud of his lover. Well, at least not since the time Ten showed him that trick he can do with a banana.)

"Who cares about the title?! Wasn't your dream to become an assassin like Tao Pai Pai?!"
"And besides... I no longer want to be an assassin!" "That dumb Kame Sen'nin filled your head with weird thoughts, didn't he?!" "Um... we're in the middle of a match..." "SILENCE!" "Y-yes..."

Tsuru Sen'nin decides to kill both Goku and Tenshinhan, himself. And when Chaotzu refuses to aid him, he prepares to kill him as well!!


But Tsuru Sen'nin is allowed no such thing when Kame Sen'nin is around!!! Using a powerful Kamehameha, he sends Tsuru Sen'nin flying...!! He assures Tenshinhan that Tsuru Sen'nin will live (Ten still respects him as his master, after all) and to continue the match! Goku smiles at Ten.

"Sorry! It looks like I misunderstood!" Goku says cheerfully.
Ten looks at him, serious. "I've betrayed my master; this match is all I have left. But now I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders... Cranes, turtles, revenge... none of it matters! Now I can devote myself entirely to defeating you!"
"It sounds like you've become a little better of a person now!"

"Prepare yourself!" Tenshinhan says. "After what's happened, I absolutely cannot lose this match!" Goku's brow furrows. "Me neither!"


Goku's back in the match! He hammers the HFIL out of Tenshinhan, kicking him around the ring and finally down to the ground! Tenshinhan gets up after a moment, and Goku asks him why he's not fighting seriously. 

"I paid back what I owed you..."

By letting Goku pound the living shit out of him, Ten ensured they'd both taken the same amount of damage, making Tsuru Sen'nin's plan completely moot. Muten Roshi thinks this a pretty smug move of Ten, but this Blogger would like to interject that he (that is to say, I) feels it's the manliest shit I've ever heard. Now on an equal level, Tenshinhan prepares to use... (wait for it) ... THAT TECHNIQUE!!!

"You're not seriously planning to use that technique, are you?!"

Tenshinhan begins to groan and focus his ki.
To Oolong, it looks as if he's trying to take a dump.
(And once again, Dragon Ball makes a joke about itself better than every idiot on a message board thinks they can. You stay classy, DB.)
Chaotzu is relieved - it turns out it isn't THAT TECHNIQUE.
Or to give it it's proper name, the Kikoho (more on that tomorrow, kids.)

"Shiyouken!"
(Four Armed Technique)

Uh... holy fuck.

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