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Dragon Ball Z ep 1 - Mini-Goku is an Overprotected Boy! "I Am Gohan"

We've arrived at last, Dragon Ball Z. Dragon Blog Z. It's documented internet fact (more factual than actual fact, according to the internet) that Dragon Ball Z (or DBZ as the kids call it) is a million times more epic and adult oriented than vanilla Dragon Ball.

(Little known fact; if you listen to this song enough, you'll grow an extra testicle.)

Take this first episode as an example of how mega awesome this show is compared to DB. It's about a little boy being lost in the woods where he cries for my mommy the whole time. OH MAN. THIS SHOW IS AMAZING. IT'S ALL ABOUT BLOOD AND TITS AND MUSCLES AND VIOLENCE AND BRUCE FAULCONER ROOAAAAR.

Okay, now that I have that out of the way...

It has been five years since Son Goku defeated Piccolo at the 23rd Tenka-ichi Budokai. A lot has changed in that time: Goku and Chichi are parents, the world has been at peace for five years, and there's a brand new color pallet. All in all, things seem to be going pretty well for our now 23-years-old boy hero. 

But something nefarious approaches the planet from the stars...

Chichi sends Goku off to find their son, who has gone off into the woods. (They live at Mt. Paozu, with a larger house constructed beside Son Gohan's home.) Their lunch is getting cold, and they need to eat it before they leave for Kame House - to visit Muten Roshi and the others for the first time since the Tenka-ichi Budokai.

 Many miles away, the five years of peace are about to end...
 A humble farmer watches as an alien steps out of his space craft.
"So, the folks on this planet are still alive after all, huh?" The humanoid from another planet mutters to himself. "That miserable Kakarotto!"
"W-who are you?!" The farmer shouts.
"Your battle power is a mere five, huh? Piece of trash!"
The alien smirks, having checked the device over his eye.
"D-don't come any closer! I-I'll kill you!"
As the alien flicks the bullet back at the farmer, killing him instantly, his plan literally backfires.
"Hmph. What a fragile people." The alien says to himself.

His Scouter - the device covering his left eye - beeps as it catches a great battle power many miles away. The alien takes this to mean that the man he's searching for, Kakarotto, is there. He raises into the air using Bukujutsu, and flies toward the battle power.

Introducing Son Gohan
Child of Goku and Chichi

Son Gohan is a boy with a tail and the 4-Star Dragon Ball on his hat. Named for Goku's grandfather, Gohan shares neither of their talents for martial arts. Or indeed toughness of any sort. He wanders the forest, lost and unhappy, wailing for his mother and father to come for him. Along the way, he chases or gets chased by various animals, and eventually falls into a river flowing downstream. 

Goku wonders how Gohan jumped so high.

Yet when Gohan's emotions take over, he becomes capable of stunts even he forgets he can do. (Remember that, it's important for pretty much ever.) 

"Gohan, let's head home! Your mommy is worried! We have to go to Old Timer Kame Sen'nin's right away too, you know!"

Elsewhere, spending his time meditating in the vast wildness... the last member of the Demon Clan, Piccolo, senses an extraordinary ki.

"W-what kind of power is this? I couldn't possibly be... Son Goku?!"

"You're not Kakarotto..." The alien says dryly.
"Who are you? Do you have some sort of business with me?" Asks Piccolo, coldly.
"I don't have any business with the likes of you."
"Then what have you come here for? Do you want to die?"
"You sure are in high spirits."

The alien checks Piccolo's battle power on his Scouter, and is impressed, though insists that Piccolo wouldn't be a match for him. Piccolo is more than a little offended.

"Is merely kicking up dust all it can do?"

But before the alien can try his own technique in exchange for Piccolo's attack, he gets a reading on his Scouter that outstrips any other battle power on Earth. This time, it has to be Kakarotto!!

"Have you lost sight of your pride as a Saiyan, the mightiest warriors in the universe, Kakarotto?!"

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