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Dragon Ball Z: A Super Decisive Battle for the Whole World (DBZ Movie 3)

Old internet guard will remember Dragon Ball Z In a Nutshell, i.e. the Dragon Ball Z Abridged prototype. I'm fairly certain the opening of this movie, and DBZ Movie 5, are the reason for the infamous "Every DBZ adventure begins with a BBQ" trope. Alas...

Kuririn, Bulma, Gohan, and Oolong are having a BBQ/camping trip. Why Yamcha wasn't invited, I don't know, but I think Bulma has developed a thing where she only wants to be around non-sexually threatening males (sorry Kuririn). As they sleep that night, a spacecraft lands (from space) and lights the whole forest around them ablaze. (What are the fucking chances of that?)

 So Gohan and Kuririn put the fire out the only way they know how...
 They scream at it.

But with the forest burnt down, and the animals out of a home, Kuririn and Gohan decide they can't stop at merely putting out the flames; It's time to get those Dragon Balls...!!

(Oh look! Pee-Rex, Tenshinhan, and Chaozu!

 They summon Shen Long and wish for the forest to be restored.
 And Gohan gets a pet dragon (creatively named Haiya Dragon).
But Chichi isn't down for Gohan having a pet. 
 Because as we all know, children with pets make for irresponsible adults.
 Luckily, Goku is a total bro-dad.

Meanwhile, the mothership of the spacecraft (which was an exploratory drone of some sort) approaches Earth. Its crew, the Tullece Crusher Corp., are hoping to use the Planet Earth to plant the Tree of Godly Might (Shinseijuu) - a powerful tree which will bare fruit that, when eaten, will gift the consumer with extraordinary power. Though their leader, a mysterious cloaked figure named Tullece, is surprised the planet still exists at all. Wasn't Kakarotto, he wonders, supposed to remove of all the planet's life years ago? 


Back on Earth, Yamcha is cruising around in his new flying car he bought using a 15 year loan. Puar is surprised anyone even gave him credit, but Yamcha (evidently) became pretty popular from all the times he's participated in the Tenka-ichi Budokai.

You remember. All those times.

But he has a new ride, a new confidence, and a gal waiting for him. Yamcha is at last going to get Bulma to go out with him again! Today is the day everything goes right for Yamcha!!

(There's a boom sound and animation here that makes me laugh every time.)

The explosion was made by these handsome fellows - the Tullece Crusher Corp. They are, from left to right, Daiz, Rakasei, Amond, Cocoa, and Rezun. Amond carves a giant hole in the Earth with his ki, Daiz casually throws in the Tree of Godly Might's seed, Rezun and Rakasei giggle, and Cocoa wonders where he went wrong in his life. ("With a name like Cocoa..." He contemplates, "My parents really set me up for failure. All you can do with a name like Cocoa is adult entertainment or space piracy." [Somebody's never heard of Coco Robicheaux.])

 Piccolo can sense a disturbance in the force.

Meanwhile, Gohan and Haiya Dragon do cute stuff!
But as Gohan leaves for dinner, Haiya Dragon's Adorable Mascot Character sense tingles.
(The same thing often happened to Snarf.)
 The Tree of Godly Might born of Earth's soil.

 Back at the Son House, everyone has come over for dinner.
 Bulma screams at Yamcha for buying an expensive cruiser, becoming incensed with jealous rage that he would dare buy a nice thing.
Chichi doesn't mind the company, as long as they don't bother Gohan's studies.
Yamcha, wishing to be helpful, offers to tutor Gohan. 
 "Didn't you grow up alone in the desert?"
 Everyone laughs at Yamcha.
 "Ahahahahaha, Yamcha, you don't have parents."

Just then, Haiya Dragon knocks frantically on the Son home's window, hoping to warn Gohan of the impending doom that is the Tree of Godly Might. Instead all he does is get Chichi really mad at Goku for going behind her back.

Luckily it's Kaio-sama to the rescue, informing Goku of the tree in a safe, non-Chichi related fashion.  
 In was originally intended to bare fruit for the gods, as it will suck all the nutrients out of any planet it was planted on, until it is a dry, arid wasteland for several centuries.
 Goku doesn't like the sound of that.
 So Goku and the B-Team join forces to eliminate the Tree of Godly Might.
 But Gohan can't go 'cus his mommy said so.

 At the base of the tree, our heroes unleash their signature attacks.
 And a triple Kamehameha.
 But it doesn't even leave a scratch.

Goku and the B-Team come face-to-face with the Tullece Crusher Corp. at the base of the tree, the TCC patiently awaiting the fruit to ripen so that not even Freeza could stand up to them. (Exactly when the fuck is this movie supposed to have happened?) Though our heroes can tell they aren't Saiyans, their ki is incredible all the same.

 Bald Force Go!!
 All our heroes use their signature attacks in this movie.
 Tenshinhan uses the Taiyoken.
 Kuririn uses the Kienzan.
 Chaozu, uh, floats around.
 Yamcha uses the Sokidan.
 (Plus his second signature move; being the first fighter to get beaten.)
 And Goku uses his signature technique, "Ruin everyone's shit."
 Gohan gets on it too, with a Masenko!
 And then his signature headbutt.
 Tullece watches Gohan from a monitor in a darkly lit room.
 Because Tullece is a creepy bloke.

And then he unveils himself to Gohan, and the audience...

 ... as Son Goku's doppelganger! 
 Tullece prefers classic villainy. Darkly lit rooms, full body cloaks, creepy smirks, devil horns, and of course, offering his rival a chance at ruling the universe along side him.
 But our protagonist declines.
 "Who the hell are you?"
 "Let that child alone."
(oh gawd, I came.)

Tullece lets Gohan alone long enough to shoot Piccolo in the back, sending both he and his young charge collapsing to the ground. Tullece is interested in Gohan's potential as a Saiyan, so he unleashes a Power Ball. 

Oh and Gohan has a tail now.
 Awwww, fuck.

Tullece forces Gohan to gaze at the artificial moon light, turning him into an Oozaru. Then Tullece explodes the fake moon, so he won't transform himself. But apparently Gohan will remain Oozaru for "awhile longer", despite the moon being destroyed.

Goku rushes to his son's aid in the most metal way imaginable.
(Those two really need to stop trying to fight Goku.)

But Gohan has no love for his father in his beastly form.
 Piccolo rushes into the fray, shouting for Goku to aim for his tail.
 But before either can do much, Tullece shoots them each, sending father and son falling beneath the tree.

The furious Oozaru Gohan clutches Goku and begins to squeeze his father to death. Tullece cackles, promising to take care of Gohan after Goku is dead, as he reminisces at the traditional Saiyan father/son bonding. Y'know, murdering each other. 

But just then, Haiya Dragon arrives. 
 And Oozaru Gohan's heart is soothed.
 Until Tullece blows up the tiny dragon.

Tullece is pleased with himself. Gohan truly is a Saiyan, despite Goku's insistence to him that he and his son are Earthlings. But Oozaru Gohan's fury isn't mindless any longer - he leaps for Tullece, with every intention of avenging his fallen pet. Tullece aims a massive, deadly ki attack at the Oozaru, and Goku slices off his tail before it lands, returning his son to true body.

"F-father... protect the Earth..." Gohan asks weakly.
"Gohan...! I don't know about the Earth, but I'll protect you, at least."
"And I'm definitely going to defeat that guy!!!"

At long last, Goku and Tullece face off, Saiyan y Saiyan.
But first, the Tullece Crusher Corp. want one more round with our hero.
While that goes on, Piccolo gives Tullece his best...
... Showing off the Makankosappo!
Which amounts to dick against Tullece.

In a hand-to-hand match against Son Goku, Tullece is surprised to find he isn't fairing very well. But lucky for Tullece, the Tree of Godly Might's fruits have ripened during the course of the Earthling's defense of their planet.

It's super effective...!
To counter Tullece's power up, Goku unleashes the Kaio-ken x10!
(No really, when is this movie supposed to have happened?)
It isn't very effective...

Tullece leaves Goku to die along with his planet, when Goku refuses to beg for forgiveness for he and Gohan and join him. As Goku lays, limp, against the roots of the tree, his friends take it in turn to telepathically beg him to use their last hope: The Genki Dama.

"Oh, you're still alive?"
(The B-Team just became the BAMF Team.)

The Genki Dama, which Goku's friends sacrificed themselves to buy Goku the time to form, is easily deflected by the powerful Tullece's ki attack. The resulting explosion sends Goku rocketing through the air, collapsing once again against the root of the Tree of Godly Might. All hope seems to be lost... until Goku begins to gather ki from another source.

The tree itself lends its incredible powers to Son Goku's Genki Dama...
With one final Super Genki Dama, Tullece and the Tree of Godly Might are both destroyed.
And all the nutrients sprinkle back across the whole world, giving life back to the Earth.
Goku smiles as the last fruit evaporates, having been briefly tempted by it...

"Hey guys, you wanna have a BBQ?"

The End.

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